ASTRONAUT Tim Peake was warned about a poo on the loose in the zero-gravity International Space Station.
He was part of a crew ordered to “keep an eye out” for the missing floater.
The job would have suited Flush Gordon and there were fears of Klingons on the starboard bow.
But the Rogue One turned out to be a Phantom Menace as no one ever made Contact.
Maj Peake— the first Briton to board the station in 2015 — said: “There was a crew member, who will remain nameless, who finished his business one morning and turned around and couldn’t find any evidence anywhere. The embarrassment of having to tell his crewmates to keep an eye out . . . They never found it either.”
Suspects included American Col Tim Kopra, now 60, and Russian Col Yuri Malenchenko, 61.
And no doubt there were jokes about the problem originating from Uranus.
Tim, 51, told the Your Place or Mine podcast that using the toilet was “all about a fan — switching on the fan and the airflow keeps everything going in the right direction”.
Hopefully, the Space Oddity has been sorted by now — possibly with the use of a Moonraker.